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OPRAH WINFREY
VIRUS
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly
expands back to 200MB.
AT&T VIRUS
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are
getting.
MCI VIRUS
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much
for the AT&T virus.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS
This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of
impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.
POLITICALLY
CORRECT VIRUS
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to
itself as an "electronic microorganism."
ROSS PEROT VIRUS
Activates every component in your system, just before the whole
damn thing quits.
MARIO CUOMO VIRUS
It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
TED TURNER VIRUS
Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
ARNOLD
SCHWARZENEGGER
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS
Prevents your system from spawning any child process without
joining into a binary network.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS
#2
Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer, ewe jsut cant figyour
out watt!
GOVERNMENT
ECONOMIST VIRUS
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything
is fine.
NEW WORLD ORDER
VIRUS
Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just
thinking about it.
FEDERAL
BUREAUCRAT VIRUS
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of
which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the
most important part of your computer.
GALLUP VIRUS
Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their
data 14 percent of the time. (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin
of error.)
TERRY RANDLE
VIRUS
Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose
"Abort" from the "Abort" "Retry"
"Fail" message.
TEXAS VIRUS
Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
ADAM AND EVE
VIRUS
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
CONGRESSIONAL
VIRUS
The computer locks up, screen splits eratically with a message
appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
CONGRESSIONAL
VIRUS #2
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't
allow the user to accomplish anything.
AIRLINE VIRUS
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
FREUDIAN VIRUS
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard
PBS VIRUS
Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
ELVIS VIRUS
Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs; only
to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural
America.
OLLIE NORTH VIRUS
Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
NIKE VIRUS
Just does it.
SEARS VIRUS
Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply
and a set of shocks.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS
Your programs can never be found again.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS
Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
IMELDA MARCOS
VIRUS
Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts
money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive
shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
STAR TREK VIRUS
Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS
Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a
bill for $4,500.
GEORGE BUSH VIRUS
It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs...No new
files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free
space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the
Congrssional Virus.
CLEVELAND INDIANS
VIRUS
Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
LAPD VIRUS
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and
erases them in "self defense".
CHICAGO CUBS
VIRUS
Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews,
but you still love it.
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