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GETTING
STARTED
~NOW
THAT THE PAPERWORK IS FILLED OUT~
Disclaimer: The information provided herein is for informational purposes only and not to be taken or presented as 'legal advice'. Due to the individual nature and circumstances of each individual case persons are advised to seek actual court appointed Facilitator, Paralegal or Attorney's services before taking action in their own case. This information is presented as guidance and suggestions concerning the issues at hand and not as binding legal counsel or representation in any way, shape or form.
NOW THAT THE PAPERWORK IS FILLED OUT AND READY
So now you've gotten the above list of paperwork filled out. What now? First, go to your local copy shop and make two (2) copies of everything -except- for the Blank Disclosures and Proof of Service. Very important!; Keep the Originals, which have your original signatures, separate from the Copies. Staple any copies of double-sided pages together so they don't turn into a confusing mess as well.
Now, with your Originals in one large envelope and your Copies in another go to your Family Law Court, Filing Clerk's office. There they will stamp each copy and fill in the area, which lets you, and the other party know the place and time for a court date and/or mediation. Do not serve the other person with your paperwork until the Clerk has had a chance to fill in this info!
The Clerk will keep the Originals, which will go into your newly created file. (Take special note of your Case Number, you will use this case number a lot later on any other papers you file.) Now you are ready to Serve the other party. (Your soon to be ex-spouse.)
Since you are the person who started the paperwork, you are known as the 'Petitioner'. You are 'petitioning', or requesting dissolution of your marriage. Sometimes you will also be known as the Plaintiff. The other party is known as the 'Respondent'. This is because they are the party who is 'responding' to your petition. Sometimes they will be referred to as the 'Defendant'. The Plaintiff/Defendant terms are usually reserved for if/when you need to make a motion to the judge concerning violation of restraining orders and other pseudo-criminal motions. But don't worry about that right now. When you are the person starting the filing for divorce.. you are Petitioner, they are the Respondent.
SERVING THE OTHER PARTY
Typically the date for the mediation and/or first court date are set several weeks in advance. You usually have to serve any papers at least ten business day -before- the court date. That means, serve them as soon as possible. You can have the other party served either of two ways.. in person or by mail. Either way the person who serves them must be someone other than yourself, over eighteen years of age, usually resident of your county and not a party to the divorce. (Minor children cannot be used to serve legal documents.)
Although there are businesses that will serve people difficult to reach you can have a friend or relative do this for you. To serve in person you merely place all the court motion copies (listed above) in an envelope with the other party's name on it and have your friend/relative give it to the other party in person. They may be approached in public, at their home and at work. No conversation has to be exchanged. The simplest, least confrontational approach is to simply have your friend/relative walk up to the other party and say something like, "Excuse me, but this belongs to you." They hand it off and that's it, they've been 'served' with a legal motion to appear in court.
Once this is done, have the person who did the serving fill out the Proof Of Service sheet with their name, address, the date, time and place when the papers were served and then signature. Make a copy of this for your own records and then take the Proof of Service back to the Clerk's Office where they will stamp, file and note it in the computer as being received.
SERVING BY MAIL
If you are sure of the other party's address you can have the court serve the other party via registerred mail. Ideally, the person you are serving recieves and signs a notice saying they have been served. In reality, however, many times the other party will try to frustrate or delay the system by refusing to do so. This is why it's usually better to find someone who can serve them in person. You can also have a third party serve them by mail and fill out the 'Proof of Service By Mail' sheet. File that with the court and in most cases it will not be contested if the other party simply refuses to show up in court. Remember to keep a copy of this so that you can present it in court should the other party refuse to attend, that way you and the court can proceed without the other party present.
Important: Remember however that in almost ALL cases, the first serving of the paperwork that STARTS the case into motion MUST USUALLY BE SERVED TO THE RESPONDENT IN PERSON. (As described above.) Afterwards any following motions can be served to the address of the Respondent by mail along with a 'Proof of Service' sheet.
Remember, in either case the person who delivers (serves) the papers CANNOT be yourself. It MUST be a third person not a party to the case.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
Now that you've served the papers, essentially there is nothing to do until the date of mediation except for a few preparations. Visitation for the moment is what you can -peacefully- agree upon with the other party. If that is not possible you may want to wait until the judge has a chance to see any other influencing factors that may affect the safety or well-being of the children.
As mentioned before, if physical violence or drug abuse is an issue you will definitely want to gather together any police reports or statements (notarized) from friends who witnessed the abuse. Get a folder or large, manila envelope to keep all your legal papers in one place. Many times just being organized and being able to find the right papers at the right time makes all the difference.
Typically there is a six-month delay that begins with the date you first 'served' the other party with dissolution notice before the divorce is finalized. This is if there are no complications with the settlement. The 'clock' for the six-month period does -not- begin with the date of separation. It begins with the date you served the other party.
RECEIVING A RESPONSE TO YOUR PETITION
Remember that blank Responsive Declaration you served the other party with? There is a chance that the other party will wish to 'respond' to your initial petition using the Response Declaration.
This does not mean your petition will be denied in any way. If you wish to be divorced, eventually you will be. A response to your petition, which will be served to you either in person or by mail, will usually include any contrary remarks to your initial petition concerning custody, visitation, division of property, etc. These things will be worked out in detail either with the Mediator, at the Mediation date or with the Judge.[Part 3 of this article is continued under the title; 'Going To Mediation'.]
~Henry Velez / Copyright 1999; all rights reserved.
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